What do I do with my boy crazy or girls crazy teen?!

“Every day when my 13-year-old son comes home from school he spends about 20 minutes telling me about his school day. Although, I don’t hear much about his classes, teachers or assignments.

The conversation usually starts with what girl joined him at the lunch table. Moves on to what girl wore a tight shirt or short shorts to school. And always includes what girl talked to him the most on that particular day

Yes, my son is girl crazy!

My efforts to prod him about his science test or his math homework get overshadowed by his eagerness to talk about his conversations with his friend  over whether Susie is hotter than Jenny. He notices the girls who all of a sudden are wearing makeup to school.

While girls his age are swooning over Harry Stiles, my son is raptured by supermodel Kate Upton.

What’s a mother to do?

I’ve given the lectures about what to value in the opposite sex (intelligence, kindness, ambition) I have given him the talk about lust, love and sex. I grab every teachable moment to talk about what to value in women beyond looks. I’ve seen tons of advice for mothers of “boy crazy” tween girls but not a lot of mothers of boys.

All I can do is hope this “girl crazy” 13-year-old boy will one day find a woman he adores for all the right reasons. Until then, I’m trying to be a good listener and help him navigate the middle school years. Something tells me it’s only going to get more challenging!”

– Cindy Goodman ( raisingteensblog.com)

Working with high school and middle school students, a lot of times the only thing they talk about is who likes who, what guy/girl is hot, or the drama of a break up.  I found this blog pretty accurate and relatable for most parents of teens/ tweens.  I wanted to touch on the last part she talked about; being a good listener.  Just one point that can help us through the boy crazy and girl crazy teen years! 

Parents of teen boys and parents of teen girls can relate to this post.  A different thought process may go through a teen girls head, but none the less, teen girls can be boy crazy! 

I think that Cindy hits a good point at the end, “be a good listener.”  I believe that when building a relationship with your son or daughter in should involve listening, which is going to benefit you throughout these teen years and beyond.  You can probably agree on this. –Often times, we don’t tell someone something, because we don’t want an ear full from them, a lecture, or a lesson on what we should and shouldn’t do.  (Yes, there are times when we need to do these things), but when your teen knows that they can come to you and you will simply listen, a lot can change in a relationship.  Sit at the kitchen table with them and listen to their day (judgement free), hang with them in their room at night and listen to the awful thing that Johnny said to Bobby! 

What we do need to do is set the standard of what love is and how you should show love to someone.  Teach them how Jesus loves them unconditionally, without borders, and doesn’t tease us with his love.  Model that in the way you show love to them and how you show love to others.

We want to build that relationship of trust and truth with our teens.  Regardless of what we say, there are going to be times where they do whatever they want.  It’s like the words go in one ear and out the other.  But, by building that listening, truth, trust, whatever you want to call it, relationship, our words and our actions may actually stick with them. 

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